Aug
Geek Flow Chart
Seems these days that the ‘Geek Chic Myth‘ has everyone wanting to be a geek because it is apparently hip to be square. Thing is not everyone is cut out to be a geek. Some people think that just liking gadgets and being above average intelligence is enough to be classed as a geek. This is not true and frankly would make around 1/3 of the population geeky. If this were true humanity would probably die out in a handful of generations. To be a geek or indeed a nerd you have to have certain obsession about your interests. To the exclusion of other things other people consider important. I think it is best if I demonstrate by illustrating my geek credentials:
- I have a bagged, boarded and boxed comic book collection. It is still growing.
- I played ‘Dungeon and Dragons’ and ‘Warhammer’ RPG and Tabletop games as a teenager.
- I work in IT and have done for a decade (SEO Consultants take note).
- I have a Computer Science Degree.
- Science Fiction and Fantasy TV is my life. I have watched every episode of Star Trek, Babylon 5, Buffy, Firefly, BSG etc multiple times.
- I built my own computer and ran Windows, Linux and Mac OS X on it.
- I am pedantic and strive to be technically correct.
- I have mounted autographed photos, and other merchandise, of people from Science Fiction and Fantasy TV shows and films.
- I own and have read Science Fiction and Fantasy novels.
- I have trouble communicating with people who are not geeks.
- I have almost bankrupted myself buying gadgets and other electronics.
- I can quote Star Wars almost verbatim.
- I go to conventions.
- I have numerous IT books.
- I have a separate section of my DVD library made up of comic book films.
- People have given me self-help books I have never read.
- I’m an atheist.
- I have action figures, models and a Dalek mask.
- I have overclocked a computer or two.
- My first computer was a Sinclair Spectrum 48k.
- My room has unused PC components scattered around it.
- I wear glasses.
- I have an IQ that puts me in the top 5%.
- I can identify with all the characters in ‘The Big Bang Theory’ except Penny.
- I’m single and have been for a while.
- I can completely zone out and be utterly focused on what I am doing for hours at a time. People can talk to me and will not hear them.
- I read for fun. Both fact and fiction.
- I was programming before my age hit double digits.
- I have a Slashdot account.
- I live with my parents.
- I get above 90% in every internet geek/nerd test I ever take.
- I read and understand XKCD.
- I was bullied at school.
- My diet is terrible and I don’t exercise enough.
- I have a lightsaber.
- I live my life on the internet. I have my own blog, facebook account, use twitter and subscribe to numerous podcasts and RSS feeds.
- I dislike the mainstreaming and hijacking of the sub-culture that accepts me for who I am.
- I can remember 4 different pin numbers, my bank account no and sort code, the phone number for the Saturday Morning TV show Going Live when I was a kid (081 811 8181) but I have to be prompted by my computer for the birthdays of loved ones.
- I have WoW and AoC accounts.
- I act as the IT support for friends and family.
- I enjoy educating myself, particularly on science subjects.
- I’m an introvert.
- Kevin Smith is my Yoda.
- I enjoy being a geek and will often play it up to weird people out. It amuses me.
- I had a website that constitutes a ‘blog’ before scripting languages and databases made it easy.
- I can program in C, C++, VB, C#, PHP, Perl, Java, Javascript and SQL.
- I don’t consider HTML and CSS to be programming.
- I play computer and video games (RPGs are my preference but not crap Japanese ones).
- I have framed and mounted Science Fiction and Comic posters/prints
That is the CV of a true geek and no it is not exhaustive, I just got bored. It takes a lifelong commitment and a serious mind to be a geek. And although it seems quite varied it ultimately boils down to 5 things: Comics, Science Fiction, Fantasy, Science and Computers. All of which are very closely linked. Sad isn’t it? 
You will notice their are no journalism credentials on that list. So remember when you are claiming to be a geek because you follow Stephen Fry on Twitter, liked the new Star Trek movie and have an iPhone that you aren’t really a geek. Not even close. And after all, why would you want to be grouped with people like me? Do you really want people to think you are like that?
4 Responses to “Geek Wannabes”
My Geek Resume
I started playing with computers as young as there Were computers
My first computer was a Commodore 64 with the nifty tape drive that squealed like dial up internet and writing hours of code for a program to say hello seemed to be the thing to do. My second was a TI99/4A which was a relief because it actually had cartridge games!!
I build web pages for fun on my down time from Facebook, Bebo, MSN Messenger, Skype, and lastly Twitter, which I have just fallen in love with. (If that is a possibility)
Family computers seem to migrate to my house on their own seeking love and patience.
I can run 15 windows without slowing down the computer, because I know how, unlike others in my life.
I quit school to go to work because I was a social outcast for being too clever.
LOTR trilogy night is common in my house.
Being reminded by my daughter 3 times that its time to go to school, while I am “just finishing up an email” is imminent in the morning.
When visiting friends, I ask if I can quickly check my facebook to see if I got any replies on a post.
I spend more time building an image in PSP than any other person on the planet I am sure. Being a perfectionist geek is even worse than just your relaxed approach.
I have played with more Diablo 2 LOD characters than I have with real human beings!
I use Google as a homepage to look up useless information when I am bored.
My friends ask if I am always at my computer, as my MSN and Facebook are always on.
My computer gets breaks about once every few months when the power goes out.
When losing internet, I drove my desktop an hour into the city to download the updates for Diablo.
I have played Tribal Wars, Evony, Grepolis, the West, to name a few and actually enjoy it.
When other women are complaining about their husbands playing video games, I join in and play on the XBOX and normally beat the said husband!
When shopping at the mall, instead of the ladies stores, I am going into the Warhammer store to check out the new Orcs. If you dont believe me, here is the link! http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/catalog/landing.jsp?catId=cat210006&rootCatGameStyle=lotr
I taught my ex husband all about cutting and pasting… which I am sure children would know how to!
When I start to talk about computers and what they come with people look at me strange and ask if I can tell them in lei-mans terms.
Last but not least, it is more than just – Comics, Science Fiction, Fantasy, Science and Computers, because trust me I only do 3 of those… and I am a total geek! I am proud to be one!
To end this magical journey into a gurlie geek I leave you with this, have you ever had to pee so bad that you were doing the dance when you walked in the door … and yet the first place you go is right to the computer to turn it on so that you waste no time when you get finished in the bathroom? If you answered yes to this, then you are a Geek I’m afraid, and it is about time you admitted it!
Be proud all you geeks out there! There are a lot of us!!
and P.S. I have 14 email accounts, to which I remember the passwords, as well as bank account info, other peoples email accounts, as they are always forgetting, my daughters email account, games accounts galore for 3 people, and I still remember how to brush my teeth in the morning! Minds are a glorious thing!
I too was a social outcast at school because I was to clever. Partially anyway. I also come across as a bit aloof and sarcastic. Which probably didn’t help.
Commadore 64? I thought you were claiming to be a geek? Real geeks had Sinclair or a BBC.
However my latest claim to ubergeek status is that I have developed a repetitive strain injury (from typing don’t be crude) and now where a wrist/thumb support when using a computer.
haha crude? me? … nah I normally go for downright nasty.
I believe Everything happens for a Reason, so we are who we are for a purpose. When I was living in Scotland years ago I came across less Geeks than here in Canada. Maybe that could be a coincidence, but I think it is because it is so fricken cold here (in Canada) that we have to become computer geeks! There is nothing else to do!
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