The plot is pretty simple. Teenager wonders what it would be like to be a superhero and why nobody has done it before. He decides to give it a go and finds out that it is a quick way to get killed. His first outing as a superhero leaves him with a skeleton reinforced with lots of titanium and duff nervous system. Thus giving his only true superhero ability. Kick-Ass can take a licking and keep on ticking. Which is lucky as he can’t fight worth a damn. As he progresses with his career he meets up with the real deal in the form of Big Daddy and Hit Girl and decides to quit. Treachery rears its ugly head and he and his allies face off against the villain. Naturally he learns what it really means to be a superhero. Most everyone who deserves it gets a happy(ish) ending and the good guys still win even if they have to earn it. It is after all a Superhero film.

Kick-Ass is ably portrayed by Aaron Johnson but it is Chloe Moretz’s Hit Girl that steals the show. She is just fantastic and like the comic the story is as much about her as it is Kick-Ass. Though even Hit Girl is almost outdone by Nicholas Cage’s Adam West inspired Big Daddy. Say what you want about Cage’s acting but I defy you to watch this film and not think of him as an acting god afterwards.  The film diverges from the comic quite a bit but to be honest mostly because the changes play better on the screen. The film is sadly toned down a lot so don’t expect car batteries attached to testicles in this film. If you are not familiar with the comic and have just seen the film you are wondering how fucked up the comic is. The answer is very. The only changes that bothered me is the lack of twist in Big Daddy’s origin story and the teen friendly hero gets the girl subplot. The comic did these things better. Christopher Mintz-Plasse is the big let down of the film and I am beginning to suspect McLovin was a fluke. He feels like a 20 odd year old who looks like a 30 year old playing a teenager, which he is. Red Mist’s car is awesome though.

A couple of the special effects shots betray the low-budget origins of the film but the almost complete lack of CGI and wire-work in the action sequences leaves the film feeling very ‘real’. I’m not sure real is the right word. Perhaps ‘not super’ is better. You will spend a lot of time playing spot the superhero film scene as Kick-Ass riffs on such films as X-Men and Spider-man. Sometimes it plays the Superhero tropes straight and sometimes it subverts them. The 3D comic book version of Big Daddy and Hit Girl’s origin story is frankly awesome as is the night vision FPS scene.

On a side note the films soundtrack, with a couple of notable exceptions is very good. There seems to be a general trend in better music in films these days. Though I suspect this is simply because my generation are the ones making films now so they tend to consider the same things as me as being good.

The film does what it sets out to do. Which is playfully deconstruct the superhero comic and give you a fun but violent journey along the way. It manages to be do this without the cynicism of a film like Watchmen and without the depth too. It also manages to be genuinely funny without being an out and out comedy. It honours the medium it is paying tribute but at the same time making playful fun of it. Its mad, bad and completely over the top. Not quite as insane as the comic it is based on but still there hasn’t been anything like it before in the cinema. If there has I haven’t seen it. As much as they have pushed the censors by having a 12 year old actress say ‘cunt’ and ‘fuck’ a lot they have toned down the violence and blood considerably. Though I am inclined to put this down to being partially about not destroying the illusion of reality to early in the film.  Lets just say I’m feeling generous because I loved the film.

I give it 4 out 5 and hope for an unrated director’s cut on DVD.

5. X-Men 2

This is the franchise that really kicked off the modern Superhero film, building on the good will created by Blade. X-Men was a good film in its own right but it was a bit self-conscious at times and oddly goofy at others. It was also saddled with introducing many characters and explaining powers and origins. X-Men 2 was where the franchise found its feet and unfortunately thanks to the almost dire X-Men 3 and mediocre Wolverine films it was also where it peaked. It is a nicely balanced film. Superheroics, drama, new characters, better wigs and focusing on the existing characters better all rise it above X-Men.  And thanks to not being saddled with so many introductions there is more plot available for the film. More importantly this is the film we really got to see the Wolverine in action.

4. Spider-man 2

Spider-man was a good film despite suffering from Superhero origin syndrome. If there was one Marvel character that could have had his origin easily glossed over it is Spidey. The sequel improved everything laid down by the first. Better plot, better characters, better villain, better dialogue, better action sequences and much improved CGI. Yet again this was also the peak of the franchise as Spider-man 3 was such a let down  that everyone involved swore off it and Sony has had no choice but to reboot the franchise and take it back to its roots. It helps that the film was really ‘my Spider-man’. I grew up reading the comics of the young adult Peter Parker rather than the teenage one so this fits in better with my idea of how Spider-man should be. What? This is my list so the reasons the films get on it don’t have to apply to you too.

3. Watchmen (Ultimate Edition)

The Ultimate Edition DVD is what slides this into the top 5 otherwise this would be the honourable mention. The extra footage and the inclusion of the Pirate comic as a cartoon really makes the film complete. I consider this film both entertainment and a work of art just like the comic book and you never read this but I prefer the film’s ending over the comic’s. Synder did the impossible with this film and made probably the best adaptation of Watchmen that was possible and even tweaked it to make it more relevant to a modern audience. I can fault it on very little. The soundtrack alone is the best Superhero film soundtrack ever and the opening sequence is sublime. Despite the length I never feel like the film is dragging or trying to do too much. Horribly violent yet never mindlessly so and all the violence in lovely slow motion instead of that modern trend of shakey cam and quick cuts like the Bourne films.

2. The Dark Knight

Batman Begins was good, really good, probably the best first film of a Superhero franchise when it came out. Dark and broody without the peculiarity of Tim Burton and with a Batman who can keep up with the Villain in the acting stakes. The Dark Knight not only went its own way with its naming convention it also took everything write with Batman Begins and made it better. Nobody thought Heath Ledger would be able to match Jack Nicholson’s evil funny uncle portrayal of the Joker but he match it and then some. Ledger’s Joker was phenomenal. Yet he managed to do it in away that he didn’t over shadow the films protagonist. Which might have more to do with the differences between Bale and Keaton to be honest. The film is so good it is possible to ignore Bale’s almost comedic Batman voice.

1. Iron Man

This as it stands is the ultimate Superhero film. It gets everything right. It manages to incorporate the colour and spectacle of a Superhero without dragging the film to far away from reality. Despite being an origin film it never seems to get bogged down. Possibly because it is not an origin we have seen 100s of times before like say Superman’s. It manages to use special effects in just the right amount to serve the film without dominating it. Even with all the CGI and action the thing that stands out more than the armour is the man in it. Downey was born to play Tony Stark and thanks to the lack of a complete script he is allowed to really make the character his. The dialog feels fresh and real because so much of it is an either ad-lib or was written with the author. And you know what else it is an enjoyable film with a delightfully roguish hero you can’t help but love. If the pattern of the 2nd film in a comic book franchise being the best continues then Iron Man 2 should be a stonker.

Honourable Mention: Daredevil – The Directors Cut

A lot of people dislike this film and the theatrical cut has a lot to be disliked, not least of which is Ben Affleck’s acting while being Matt Murdock. As Daredevil he manages to Batman it up just right but as Murdock he is unconvincing and his hair looks stupid. So why is this an honourable mention? Well partly because the Directors cut pretty much fixes most of the complaints you could have with the film that come down to Affleck’s wonky acting. The fact that Murdock is a broken man, both physically and psychologically and that really comes across in the film. He is covered in scars, coming apart and has to dose up on pain killers just to function. Mentally he is fried and long ago crossed that line into being Daredevil with Lawyer being his mask. The Director’s cut fixes the balance and frankly ads some plot. However it is the fact that Daredevil pilfers imagery from the comics like you wouldn’t believe that makes me like it so much. Few comic book films have dared draw from the comics in this way as much as Daredevil does. It is packed full of scenes from the very first to the very last shots that you can find in the comic books. I know I have those comic books and I am a comic fan before movie fan, sorry. I like that enough to bump ‘Batman Begins’ out of the honourable mention slot. Still it would have been better if they had just filmed Frank Miller’s ‘The Man Without Fear’.

Conclusions

It seems to me that is telling the origin story that often drags Superhero comics down. The problem is that Superhero origin stories are vitally important to the character but also tend to be quiet short. Long enough to drag down the quality of film but not long enough to make a whole film out of. You can either skirt over it as much as possible like Daredevil or expand it and make it the entire plot like Iron Man or Batman Begins.

Nice too see Stark building up his collection of suits. I especially love the suitcase armour and how it doesn’t suddenly become his normal armour but actually looks like it folds out.

Norman Osborn (formerly the Green Goblin) has managed to wangle himself the top job at S.H.I.E.L.D (which he renamed H.A.M.M.E.R), drove all the best Superheroes underground (Some literally, others figuratively) and replaced all the major Marvel Superhero teams with his own twisted versions (made up of Marvel’s shadier heroes and villians). Oh and used scavenged Ironman armour to make himself into the ‘Superhero’ Iron Patriot (complete with Gaudy Stars and Stripes paint job). He has decided that Thor and his fellow Asgardians are terrorists and has attempted to invade Asgard which currently floats above US soil (Loki kind of helped along with that line of thinking). Ares, the greek god of war, has just been torn in half (that makes him dead) by the mad, super-junkie the Sentry (he makes Superman look like a pansy) and Osborn has just ordered the Sentry to kill the wounded Thor (who just made Wolverine’s son a chared mess with Lightening). Still with me? Yes? Good! Right Osborn thinks he is still winning (despite already having his ass handed to him by a former S.H.I.E.L.D agent armed with a shoulder mounted missile launcher) and has to be warned by an underling to turn around.

Unfortunately (for him anyway) while Osborn has been happily involved in taking over everything the real Captain America (Who was kind of assassinated after opening a can of Whoop-ass on Iron-man during the Superhero Civil War) has recently returned from the dead and he is not a happy, star-spangled bunny. It looks like next issue the Iron Patriot isn’t going to be either.

Films

The buy out will probably initially be a boon for Marvel’s already successful film franchises. They will have access to Disney’s massive clout when it comes time to market the films and get them out there. For films currently being filmed, produced and those currently in pre-production will probably benefit and remain largely free from Disney interference. In the longer term I fear Disney will simply not be able to resist sticking their oar in. Marvel decided to start producing its own films because they wanted to get their properties out there take most of the money and make the films they wanted without the Hollywood executive interference that has managed to all but ruin the X-Men and Spider-man franchises. I’m sure at first Disney will,  as promised, keep their nose out but eventually a Disney executive will see something he doesn’t like or come up with a way to make Marvel films ‘even better’ and Marvel’s films will end up being dictated by people who are not Marvel. Don’t expect any of the post Avengers films to be any better than ‘The Last Stand’ or ‘Ghost Rider’.

The fanboys are positively drooling at the prospect of a Pixar/Marvel animated film. They have already had the possibility of an Antman Pixar film shot from under them but this hasn’t stopped them frothing at the mouth like Cujo. It isn’t going to happen at least not for a very long time. There is no market for a full 3D superhero film. Pretty much every suggested 3D superhero film that was posited after the success of ‘The Incredibles’ has been met with either crickets or hostility, including JLA and Avengers films. There is no real market there and nobody at Pixar is jumping up and down at the prospect of getting access to the Marvel catalogue. So sit down and use a tissue to wipe the spittle from around your mouth.

TV

Marvel hasn’t had a decent animated series since the success of Spider-man, Hulk and the X-Men in the 90s. These only being slightly better than the 80s cartoons that were very successful. All of the cartoons since have been plagued with piss-poor modernisation and pathetic attempts to be cool and hip. Even the animated DVD/TV films based on the Ultimate universe have been ropey. The 90s cartoons managed to be more true to their source material even while hampered with by higher ups who forbade death, injury, drugs and sex even being mentioned let alone featured.  Marvel has never had a successful live action TV show in the nature of say ‘Smallville’. Which is amusing as ‘Smallville’ is a Spidermanisation (I like that made up word) of the Superman mythos. This is where I could see Disney making most use of Marvel’s properties and where Marvel could benefit the most. They have a TV network and everything in place to make Marvel TV shows, animated or otherwise. And now that special effects are so much cheaper make a live action serial out of a comic should be a no brainer. I always the serialised nature of comics was a better fit for TV than Film anyway. Still I’m not sure if any of this will happen.

Comics

The comics are screwed. The comics don’t make massive profits as it is and frankly the market is being propped up by the success of the films. The target audience is aging and declining while new younger readers are just not at the levels they once were. Kids today have many more things to occupy their time and to be honest comics are way to expensive for what they are. I usually pay between £2 and £3 for a comic these days and that is a whole lot for 30 minutes entertainment. Thus any post merger rationalisation will take place here. And it will happen. I doubt their has been a single case of one company buying another were the purchased company hasn’t seen considerable cuts. Disney have purchased Marvel for their character portfolio. There hasn’t been a decent new Marvel character in years (possibly decades) so Disney have nothing to fear by slowly winding down the comics division. In addition Disney will fall from a great height upon any story line that potentially jeopardises any of the other media interests. Things like Civil War and the death of Captain America would probably not have occurred under Disney. Some might argue that is a good thing but they are the kinds of comic fans that like comics to remain the same year on year anyway. Those kinds of fans will probably be happy with Marvel under DC. Though if DC can promise that we will never have another ‘One More Day’ I’ll welcome them with open arms no matter how much they interfere.

Final Thoughts

Disney has been quick to say they will leave Marvel alone as they don’t want to interfere with something doing well and initially this will be the case but in the long run Disney will milk Marvel dry like the entertainment industry vampire they are. Many people have remarked that Marvel will be OK because Disney didn’t ruin in Pixar. Sadly Marvel simply do not have the same clout or unique selling point that has protected Pixar from overt interference. In Pixar’s case they were out Disneying them and Disney had not choice but to buy them in and then leave them alone. Disney is happy to spend most of its time milking its own properties in the direct to DVD market. This is not true of Marvel. Marvel have not been purchased because they do something better than everyone else but simply as a cache of ready to exploit entertainment properties.

Naturally all the higher-ups at Marvel are stating this is a wonderful thing. Sorry but they are bound to say this as their jobs almost certainly depend on it so I think we can pretty much dismiss their comments as spinning the company web line. Stan Lee in particular is all for it but he has been taking Disney’s shilling for a long time so this too is to be expected. There seems to be a split between the fans of the comics and the fans of the films over whether this is a good thing. The comic fans are mostly against the idea as they believe the comics will likely get marginalised while the other media fans are more positive about the buyout. Basically the comic fans are on Cap’s side and the other are with Iron Man. However all this is only the opinion of a washed up old Web Developer so feel free to treat it with disdain if you will. But I will say ‘I told you so’ if I turn out to be right, over and over again. Honestly I’ll be hell to live with.

Interestingly Warner have announced ’DC Entertainment’ this week which is supposedly in answer to Marvel’s similar and successful entertainment division. Naturally this has been in development for two years and has in no way been rushed into existence to try and get some reflected news coverage after the Disney Marvel deal. Nope not at all. In addition to this the DC comics fans have not been entirely happy since Warner bought up DC and have accused it of meddling in the comics. But Disney won’t do that to Marvel, oh no.

I wonder what her Russian accent is like?

Scarlet Spider - Teach The Controversy

Some folks don’t get this so read this and then look here if you are interested.

To the people who purchased this comic: I hate you all for making me have such a downer on the comicdom. That goes to all the people planing to buy the insipid continuation of the diabolical Clone Saga too. You are worse than the people who liked “One More Day” all of you. I hope you all get infected paper cuts. And damn you Marvel for preventing Chris Claremont from retiring.

That is one of the worst drawn comic book covers of all time not the best. Yes it is a fantastic concept but the implementation is just terrible. Lets gloss over the complete lack of background and that Wolverine looks like an over ripe orange and focus on the claws. My gods the claws for pity’s sake! They look not entirely unlike this:

Wolverines claws have been drawn badly and inconsistently for decades but I’ll be damned if that covers doesn’t have amongst the worst ever. The perspective is wrong, they point out at a weird angle, how they connect to his hand is anyone guess and they have no proper shape to them. It actually hurts my eyes to look at it. It is a horrible cover. Just horrible. Damned Wolverine fanboys make us look like bloody idiots. They picked that over perhaps one of the most iconic comic book cover off all time that introduced Spiderman. One that is constantly replicated by artists even today.

That ‘Amazing Fantasy’ cover is second only to this one in iconic status:

Everyone who voted for that Hulk cover should have their collections taken away and given to poor children.

Reborn

The road to the return of the one true Captain America starts this month. Captain America No. 600 will start the ball rolling today but the main meat of the plot will take place in July’s Reborn mini-series. How they are going to do it is any bodies guess but Rogers’ body is currently encased on ice in the arctic.

First look via Newsarama.