First things first how does it work? Well you plug it into your iPod and it vibrates in time to your music. Not exactly teledildonics is it? That link is safe as it goes to Wikipedia but be disturbed to know I didn’t need to look it up and it is for your benefit not mine. Is it any good? The author Veronica says it is not as good as Rampant Rabbit, which I am led to believe is one the most highly rated vibrators. Lacking the necessary biological make-up I’ll have to take women at their word on that. Apparently the author found the Ohmibod a little weedy but that could be explained by her terrible taste in music. I mean Justin Timberlake and Snow Patrol? Eeegads!  Anyway she determines she would probably need drum and bass at high volume to get anything out of it. I’d suggest some Black, Thrash or Death Metal as those tend to be very loud with lots of bass. Not the kind of music to ‘get you in the mood’ but then neither is Snow Patrol. You might even win a Darwin Award by doing that or possibly just void the warranty. She does find time to do the very obvious plug and play joke. I’m probably just mad that I don’t get to make it.

If you are still reading you are totally waiting for me to get into a mindless rant about something then I will not disappoint. Unlike the Ohmibod. Well maybe a little as I am still pretty tired from yesterday.

So why is one of the first product reviews on the new Geeks.co.uk site about a vibrator? They are clearly trying to appeal to the female geek market which apparently means reviewing sex toys. Not just getting a female opinion on everyday geeky gadgets. But who needs that anyway right? I’m being post-modern and ironic. We are talking about a very definite double standard here. They would not consider posting a review of the male equivalent.  I dare them to seek one out and do a review. Actually I take that back in case someone reads this and takes me seriously. Do they even do a version of the fleshlight which vibrates like this? For pities sake if you value your job don’t follow that link at work. Alternatively don’t follow it at all. Perhaps in reality women are actually bigger perverts than men. I think that may well be so. After all most men make do with their hand and don’t gift each other sex toys. Porn maybe but not sex toys. That is why women try to paint men as perverts and actively encourage us to think the same. They say you hate in other people what you dislike the most about yourself. Which is why I dislike hypocrites so very intently. Vibrator/dildo jokes are de rigueur in today’s fiction to the point of verging on cliche. Though the reason for the humour is very different than when a guy fucks an apple pie.

Veronica ends her review with the line “Now ….. I guess as I’ve tried it out it I probably shouldn’t put it back in the unwanted gifts box”. Which to me is a most amusing double entendre. If you really need me to explain it then email me. Did she write that on purpose? It is possible as we have already concluded women are colossal perverts. Then again not everyone has a mind educated by Carry On films. Plus if she had kept quiet she could have wiped it with a damp cloth and given it away and nobody would have known. What?

Right I’m done. My Raspberry Pavlova has nearly defrosted so I am going to have a bath and then eat it.

It has all the usual bits you would expect for a Smartphone including 3G, GPS, Touchscreen, Camera (5 megapixel), Bluetooth, Wifi and playback for most audio and video formats. I have heard it mentioned that it will play Flash. Impressive, most impressive. Below is a video of the phone in action.

But why are so many IT journalists so eager to see the end of the netbook? To quote the meerkat, simples. Pride. IT journalists like most of the industry were caught out by the rise of the netbook. Asus slipped it under the radar and it was an instant hit with the people that really matter, consumers. I remember the rush to get the Eeepc and making sure I had one ordered well before they were due on sale. No I didn’t pre-order it! Sorry, that’s a rant for another day. They were going on ebay for almost double their retail price at one point. And as the industry caught on and each new netbook hit the market they would sell like hot cakes. They were exactly what people wanted. Small, portable, computers that could do most things a full laptop could do without being a dead weight. Whole online communities, blogs and news sites dedicated to netbooks sprang up virtual over night. There are even e-commerce stories that cater only for the netbook market. Consequently they are one of the few areas of IT sales that are doing well at the moment. Netbook accessories are big business. It was the birth of a new niche and so many IT journalists missed or dismissed it.

And has this pissed off most journalists or what? The instant netbook popularity just highlighted what a bunch of navel gazing polyps IT Journalists are. I’m a big fan, can you tell? Like most journalist they have developed an over inflated sense of self worth in recent years. They think they make the news rather than report it. So kill the netbook they must otherwise how can anyone give anything they say/write any credence at all? So the netbook gets the honour of being the only non Apple product that journalist will make random crap about just so they can attack it. Headline after headline of wharrgarbl. ‘Psion owns the trademark for the term netbook so netbooks are doomed!’ ‘Netbooks will just become laptops.’ ‘Netbooks are just a fad.’ ‘Netbooks are slow and useless.’ ‘Have netbook sales started to slide!’ And so on and so forth. I guess if your job is to predict the future and you miss something so popular it makes you look like a complete tool. That’s gotta hurt.

In a somewhat ironic turn of events “The Register” which seems to pride itself on berating whatever is popular at the moment has come out as quite the netbook supporter. However this might just be because they were one of the few who actually realised that the Eeepc was going to be a hit as soon as it came out. They were simply right for once.