That was like some kind of weird anti-RTD episode of Doctor Who. Instead of getting a good first part and then getting a big pile of poop of a let down in part 2 RTD did it the other way around.He also skipped most of his usually end of series sillyness and gave us one of better ends he has done. Perhaps he used up all his quota of silly in the first part shown on Xmas day. Though he did reuse the old ‘planet in the sky’ idea from the end of last series. Everything just seemed toned down and the actors seemed to be left alone to tell the story. Which is good because the cast is made up of some really fine actors. We also got to find out why The Doctor was okay with sealing up the Timelords along with the Daleks, they had become just as bad as their enemy. Their final solution to a war they couldn’t win was to destroy all of time which they seemed to have borrowed from Davros in the last finale of the last series.

I love who it was who knocked four times.

The build up to the regeneration was fantastic. I liked how even as he was effectively dying he searched out his companions and gave them each that a little bit of help one last time. I didn’t even mind that he went to see Rose either. I really felt for the Doctor as he struggled against his regeneration because he didn’t want to go. Who would? Regeneration is not quite dying but it isn’t far off really. Most of the Doctor’s incarnations have simple accepted it or not had time to think about. This incarnation didn’t want to go. Which is the 10th Doctor all over, lovable, friendly, helpful, courageous but ultimately selfish. Even his self-sacrifice for Wilf wasn’t without a tantrum. This Doctor learn’t to love what he did again after his previous incarnation had struggled to come to terms with what he did in the Time War. Probably ended up loving it a little too much, which is why everything went a little caca. Ah mixing my time travel show terminology will get me in trouble one day.

It looks like holding back his regeneration has dire consequences for the Tardis and he still isn’t ginger! I liked the sly dig that the PC meddling brigade as he checked he wasn’t a woman after discovering he had long hair. Watch the regeneration:

No doubt the various Doctor Who internet discussion forums are already sharpening their knives to stick into Matt Smith’s back. They have already do doubt labelled him the worst Doctor ever based on his few seconds in this special. And when they see him punch a guy in the advert for the new series they will have a damned fit. Still onwards into the Moffat era and here’s to new catchphrases!

Geronimo!

It starts off at such a pace it makes you think “Wow a lots going to happen in this special, this should be good” and then very little actually happens. They get straight into the running almost immediately so it seems initially like their is some urgency. The Doctor sits with the Ood for a couple of minutes (I’m guessing exposed brain patterns are the special effects guys’ trademark in Doctor Who) then off he goes running to get back to Earth. And then we have the resurrection of The Master who for some inexplicable reason gains superpowers and taste for human flesh (and turkey) when said resurrection gets botched. Then we spend the next half an hour following around Wilf and get to watch the Doctor be all whiny. Then after all the piffling about we get to end of the episode which includes some incredibly convenient super-tech, the addition of some pointless and stupid look aliens, everyone under-estimating The Master (again) and some kind of weird play on the fortress of solitude scene at the end of Superman 2. Finally we have the cliffhanger which has to be the most unintentionally hilarious piece of TV (The Matrix meets The Master) I have seen this year followed by a massive and pointless spoiler for the next special on New Year’s day.

It’s like Russell T. Davies has come over all George Lucas with this special and those around him have let him because this and the New Year special make up his final story. Nothing anybody does in this special makes a lick of sense and half the plot seems purely so special effects can be used. The other half of the plot seems to cater for poor bad jokes and pretty low brow humour. Are old people really all so bored they would spend their time looking for a Doctor because one of their ilk said it would be a good idea? Why has the TARDIS even got a chameleon circuit if the Doctor can make it invisible? Does nobody on TV actually partake in any fiction whatsoever so they can see these ‘sudden but inevitable betrayals’ coming? When does Steve Moffat take over?

And through all this crap Bernard Cribbins, David Tennant and John Simms (even if he was chewing the scenery) act their socks off to save this special from being another ‘Planet of the Dead’. Even Catherine Tate in Donna Noble’s few scenes oozes class. Which in a way makes it all much worse as they stick out like brand new Blu-ray players in a manure pile. Lets hope the 2nd part of this tale is much better and that this special looks better in hindsight because of it. However I predict that it will just be another typical ridiculously-over-the-top Davies end of season story.

I had an epiphany tonight after playing ‘Batman: Arkham Asylum’ for 6 hours straight and then reading a little Fark.com. By the way doing that is better than those previously legal highs. The government will probably make it illegal soon. Anyway I digress. I finally worked out who The Doctor is. The Doctor is the god of the Christian bible. I sense you don’t believe it? Well that is why you fail. Let me explain. Let us take look at The Doctor’s CV a little:

• He has committed genocide on several occasions. Wiping out entire races that were up to no good. Especially if they threatened is chosen people, humans.
• He completely experiences time and space.
• He is willing to condemn his enemies to eternal punishments for challenging him (Family of Blood).
• He defeated Satan (dropped him into a black hole).
• He sees himself as the final authority on everything. He judges everyone and even decides what should happen.
• He always gives everyone a second chance.
• He helps people achieve what they are capable of if they suck up to him.
• If you are his friend he will help you enormously. If not you are screwed.
• He has an eternal nemesis who lies and tempts people to do wicked things (The Master).
• He works in mysterious ways that are incomprehensible to us humans.

If that is not exactly the same CV as the bibles authors gave to Jehovah then I will eat my hat. It also would explain why that god seemed to have a personality change between the old and new testaments. He was the 9th Doctor during the old testament and regenerated into the 10th in time for the new testament. Simples. It is pretty clear then, that the bible is simply a plagiarised version of the life of The Doctor. Being a Time Traveller he could easily have imparted it to some goat farmer in the Middle East while fixing the TARDIS. The BBC should sue all the different denominations of Christianity (and possibly Judaism and Islam too) for copyright infringement. Now after reading that you are of course wondering which fictional universe you are reading this in and which real universe The Doctor comes from. I wouldn’t worry about it as you will probably never know. And if you do find out you are sure to be disappointed. I know I was.

Well it has been a busy day for Doctor who revelations. We have seen both the Doctor’s new outfit revealed and a spoiler regarding a returning character. Lets take a look at the Doctor’s new look shall we (click for big version):

I quite like the new look. They have paired the younger Doctor with the outfit of a much older person. He has a bit of a 1950′s professor feel to him, which I think is a nice touch. I wonder if bow ties will catch on? I’ll be interested to see if Matt Smith’s character matches his Doctor’s outfit. The Tardis has also had a coat of paint and is a bit (understatement of the decade) more blue. You can see it here at the Sun’s Gallery. It looks kind of bright which I guess mirrors the youth of the new Doctor. I like the Doctor’s getup but I’m not sure about his Tardis. What is that sticker on the right hand door? The pictures also reveal that Alex Kingston is returning as the Doctor’s ‘wife’ River Song. Allegedly in a two-parter written by Moffat himself. The Doctor’s new assistant, played by Karen Gillan, is to be named Amy Pond (sister to James Pond no doubt) and I must say I find her quite aesthetically pleasing. But then I’ve always had a thing for women with red hair. Her feet look a bit big in that outfit though.

I look forward to seeing the internal reskin of the Tardis but I suspect the BBC will keep that underwraps for a while yet. Oh by the way, spoiler warning.